“Tinsel or Touch” Holiday Visits in the Hospital

by Chaplain Robert L. Hansen, D-Min, Director of Pastoral Care/Trinity Region Health System
 
Illness, injury and hospitalizations have no respect for the holidays. Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years celebrations are coming sooner than one might imagine. You and I anticipate joy and being a blessing to others. We imagine the Norman Rockwell turkey feast, the gaily decorated Christmas tree with festive gifts underneath and the New Year’s dropping of the giant ball in Times Square. When the body is struck down in one way or the other, this can be considered an interruption of the normal life flow.

One might very well ask, “What can I do to bring holiday cheer to my loved one in the hospital, nursing home, and rehab center or to another who is sick at home?” The reverse can happen to a patient who is sick during the holidays. He or she can feel like an outsider. The journey to joy can be turned into a major challenge. Think of the Christmas story. Mary was a first time mother and unwed. She and her intended, Joseph, take the perilous journey to Bethlehem on a donkey, away from family and friends. The only place for them was a cave manger with animals. Their saving grace was having a mission which was to fulfill God’s plan of lifting up his Son as a gift. With their eyes on the Christ child they received guests guided by the Star. Since family was not available to them at this distant place, shepherds, kings and animals became their adopted family.

If a loved one can not normally participate in the holidays, we can bring the family celebration to them. We have to be careful in the hospital because honored traditions of food, candles, large crowds of people and drinks may not be allowed. Remember, the most important gift you can bring is yourself. It is not so important what you say, as it is what the loved one has to say. A survey was taken in which patients were asked, “What do you fear the most about your hospitalization?” The top three answers were fear of pain, fear that no further treatment will help and the fear of being alone. The hospital experts can mediate the pain and will not give up on treatment. We who visit can help the aloneness. A positive attitude is powerful in the healing process.

Some practical suggestions are to pray together, read from the Bible, bring in favorite music with a player and headphones, invite a clergy call on the patient (chaplains can visit if a spiritual leader is not available), encourage others to visit, hold the person’s hand when appropriate, watch TV together (parades, celebrations, worship services and sporting events). If gifts are brought in, be prepared to take them home right away (clinical areas need to be clear and clean for healthcare reasons). Be mindful of other patients so as not to disturb them. Where appropriate include a room mate in the festivities. In the nursing home or a private home there may be an opportunity to share with a larger group around the patient. Check it out and share the joy. When in doubt, ask the nurse or caregiver if what you intend to do is acceptable.

Sometimes a visit can be overcast because there is not laughter filling the room, confetti flying or even a enthusiastic thank you. Is one’s visit a failure? There is a difference between happiness and JOY. Joy is not dependent upon circumstances. A person can remain alone, or in pain or have a bad illness and still have that inner feeling of hope and joy. Joy is God given and faith centered. Holidays can be filled with glitter, overindulgence and superficiality. The patient doesn’t need tinsel as much as touch. Bring your touch which is life giving to the bedside. Show the beloved that they are not alone. You are the gift. JOY to the world!

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Pastor Bob Burton, Chair of the Congregational Life Committee.

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